The Hulk, The Witch, and a Darcy
by melissawtf
Summary: Everyone should know by now that Darcy Lewis has no self preservation. Or the one where the Hulk loses his chill and attacks Wanda, and Darcy walks away from it all with a new BFF. [Part 5 of 'The Avenger and the Civilian' series]


The Avengers plus their newest recruits of Vision, the Falcon, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch work surprisingly well. On occasion.

When things were calm and everyone had gathered at Stark Tower, tension ran high when the Maximoff twins and Tony and Bruce were in the same room. The snark and hostility was unbearable in the beginning, but then with the combined efforts of Darcy and Pepper, they managed to keep things under control. So more often than not, the twins are usually found running amok New York or spending time at the Avengers Facility.

Unfortunately, one of the perks of having the Avengers Facility so isolated is that it gave Bruce a little bit of privacy to let the Hulk loose. And on this particular day, no one warned Bruce or Wanda that either of them would be at the facility at the same time (because yeah, the Hulk held grudges, but the team had been smart enough to subtly keep the Hulk and the Scarlet Witch away from each other when on mission).

 **xXx**

Darcy's on her way to the Avenger's Facility in search of Wanda. Clint's out with Pietro, Bucky with Steve, Jane with Thor, and Pepper had wrangled Tony into attending several SI meetings. So here she is, fingers tapping along the steering wheel in beat to the song playing through her car speakers, and on her way in search of her favorite Maximoff.

She hears the roar long before the facility even comes into view, lips pursing before she decides to ignore it. The second roar comes with her Stark Phone's screen turning a vibrant green in the cup holder, the block letters spelling out _CODE GREEN: AVENGERS FACILITY._

She slams on the brakes before putting her car in park and shuts off the music. Picking up her phone and swiping the alert off her screen, Darcy taps frantically on her phone before bringing up her connection to FRIDAY since Stark put her everywhere. "FRIDAY, what's going on?!"

" _Good evening, Miss Lewis. It appears that Mr. Banner's alter ego, the Hulk, has become unstable and is attacking Miss Maximoff._ "

"WHAT?!"

" _The Avengers have been assembled, but it appears they are still twenty minutes out._ "

"That's still too long," Darcy complains. When FRIDAY doesn't say anymore, Darcy takes a deep breath and focuses on centering herself. "Shit. Okay."

She tosses her phone onto the passenger's seat, throws her car back into drive, and peels out on the gravel road as she rushes towards the facility. Had this possibly not been a life or death situation, Darcy would have marveled at her driving skills and the way her car skidded and swung to the side as it came to a stop. She doesn't bother cutting the engine, she choosing instead to unbuckle herself from her seat, throw open the car door, and jump out before running head first into danger.

The Hulk towers and roars over a clearly terrified Wanda, and no one from the Facility had braved it to help the female Maximoff. The only thing keeping Wanda from being smashed by a clearly enraged Hulk is the red energy shield that Wanda has conjured up. Hulk's fist raises and is brought down with such force that Darcy flinches herself, but the red dome-like shield stops the Hulk's fist from reaching it's target.

"Wanda!" Darcy then screams.

The younger Maximoff whirls in Darcy's direction, doe-like eyes wide and begging for help. "I cannot hurt him," the Sokovian pleads. "Not again."

The Hulk's fist slams once more against the shield, and Darcy watches on with her heart in her throat as the red dome of energy seems to splinter and fade in various places. Wanda's shield is weakening and breaking, and she's using too much energy if the blood suddenly seeping from her nose is any indication.

"Fuck me," Darcy breathes. Wanda is back to looking up at the Hulk, her hands held above her head and body trembling in fear. "Goddammit. I'm gonna be in so much trouble." As the Hulk raises his fist once again, Darcy places her middle finger and thumb into her mouth, whistling sharply and putting all the Hulk's attention on her. His fist freezes before he can pound on the shield, and his rageful gaze lands on Darcy. His lips are pulled back as he bares his teeth, and Darcy gulps. "H-hey, Big Guy. My n-name's Darcy; Hawkeye's my Uncle. Do you k-know who I am?"

The Hulk blinks and snarls, and his gaze darts back to Wanda before going back to Darcy as if trying to decide who he should attack. "Don't look at h-her," Lewis flashes him a wobbly smile. "Look at me. We're your friends, Big Guy. Yours and Bruce's. Wanda and I are the good guys."

 **"Red Witch hurt Banner. Banner angry, so Hulk angry."** He surprisingly lowers his fist and steps back, his wary gaze sliding back to Wanda.

"That was all just a misunderstanding," Darcy says. Breathing a little bit easier now that the Hulk is actually speaking and backing up, Darcy straightens up just a little bit taller. "Just a huge _misunderstanding_. Red Witch is a good guy, right Wanda?" She nods her head in an exaggerated manner, urging Wanda to agree immediately.

"Yes," Wanda pants. She's still using her powers and it's obviously taking it's toll. Gaze then ping-ponging between Darcy and the Hulk, Wanda explains. "Pietro and I were angry and misguided. I am sorry for my wrong-doings, Doctor Banner, so please stop this. We are Avengers now. We are good people."

The Hulk's gaze doesn't move from Wanda after her explanation, he huffing and rolling his eyes before plopping himself down on his butt. Darcy's lips twitch in amusement as the tension immediately flees from her, and Wanda takes a cautious few steps back before lowering her defenses.

 **"Puny Red Witch,"** he grunts. Wanda huffs in offense though she treads carefully should she need to throw up her shield again. **"Puny, yet mighty."**

"That's right, Big Guy," Darcy grins. "Red Witch _is_ mighty. Aren't you glad she's your friend now?"

The Hulk harrumphs and his shoulders slump in defeat. **"Where's Tin-Man?"** He asks instead.

"Tin-Man?" Darcy frowns. Various people come to mind that the Hulk should know and when the name clicks, her eyes widen and she grins. "You mean Iron Man? He's on his way," Darcy assures him. "-along with the rest of the Avengers. You remember Quicksilver? That's Pietro. He's Wanda's brother."

"Darcy," Wanda suddenly calls out. "I don't feel so good."

Lewis looks over at Wanda just in time to see her friend sway, her eyes then rolling in the back of her head before collapsing. "Wanda!" Sprinting over as fast as she can, Darcy falls to her knees and brushes her friend's hair back before checking for a pulse. "Hey, Big Guy, I could use your help here. We need to get Wanda back to the facility and I can't hold her weight on my own."

 **"Okay."**

"Okay what?"

Darcy yelps as she's suddenly scooped up into the Hulk's arms, she watching in awe as he delicately lifts Wanda into his arms as well. When they're both situated, Hulk takes one giant leap and is right in front of the facility where Darcy can see Scientists and Doctors running about behind the glass walls. Hulk sets down Darcy first and that allows her to run to the entrance of the facility and yell for a gurney. No one moves a muscle and after yelling at them to get their heads out of their asses, Doctor Cho makes a sudden appearance and starts barking orders.

Wanda's soon situated on a gurney and taken inside, and Darcy stays outside with the Hulk grumbling behind her. The alarms that had been blaring suddenly fall silent, and Darcy leads the Hulk away from the facility where he's being stared at by terrified men and women who sometimes worked with Doctor Banner every once in a while.

After walking a good distance away from the facility and away from prying eyes, Darcy heaves a sigh and plops herself down on the ground. The Hulk watches her curiously before he, too, plops down a few feet in front of her. "So," she drawls. "Can Doctor Banner come back now? You're a swell giant, muscle-y dude, but Doctor Banner is kind of my bro."

The Hulk manages to pull off looking guilty, and Darcy frowns. What in the world would make the Hulk look guilty? **"Hulk so mad he made Banner sleep. Hulk in charge for now."**

Darcy blinks once.. and then twice. "E-excuse me?" The Hulk shakes his head and avoids eye contact, and Darcy's eyes widen. "Oh no, you don't, Mister. What the hell's going on, Hulk?"

The sound of an incoming quinjet catches Darcy's attention as well as the Hulk's which saves him from answering, and the both of them look up just in time to see the quinjet flying towards them before hovering several yards away and landing. The Hulk grumbles and shifts closer to Darcy, and Darcy suddenly wishes she were anywhere but here as the back ramp lowers and the suited up Avengers- minus Thor who's back on Asgard- step out one by one.

So. Much. Trouble.

Darcy scrambles to her feet which makes Hulk take a stand as well, and between one blink and the next, Pietro is standing before her. She throws up her hands in front of her to stop him from coming any closer, and shakes her head when his angry gaze lands on Hulk. "Wanda's inside being checked out. Hulk couldn't get passed her energy shield, but I think she might have exhausted herself from using so much power for a prolonged period of time." Pietro looks scared for a moment, but then Darcy gestures him on. "Go. She's with Doctor Cho."

Pietro leaves without anymore prompting, and then Steve and Natasha are jogging passed her as well as Darcy gives them a reassuring thumbs up as they make their way towards the facility. Darcy breathes just a little bit easier, but as she faces forward, she seems to cease breathing all together. Bucky's staring rather harshly at the Hulk's towering form, and then his gaze darts down to Darcy. He seems angry, but he also seems as if he's calculating the situation before him and wondering just how the hell he's going to get her away from the Hulk without triggering the Big Guy into attacking.

"Barnes," she calls out warningly. "Whatever you're thinking about.. stop. The Hulk and I are fine."

 **"Hulk Darcy bro. Raccoon no worry."**

"What?" Iron Man snorts.

"Yeah, what?" Darcy laughs and turns around to stare up at Jolly Green as he shuffles bashfully from foot to foot under Darcy's amused stare.

"Oh, God," Clint groans. "How the hell does she wrap everyone around her goddamn finger?"

"We'll figure that out later," Tony cackles as his face-plate slides up. "I wanna hear more about Bucky- Raccoon- Barnes."

"Shut it, Stark," said man grumbles, his gaze stuck on his girlfriend who's standing at the feet of one of the most dangerous beings on the entire planet. "Darcy, doll," Bucky then calls out. "Why don't you start making your way towards me. I'd feel a lot more comfortable with you by my side."

"Yeah," Clint agrees. "Come along, little bird. I'm sure the Hulk's a good bro, but he can easily hurt you should he get agitated." His stare jumps up as the Hulk huffs and his fingers twitch around the grip on his bow.

 **"Hulk not stupid, Bird Man. Hulk keep bro safe."**

Darcy beams and this time it's Bucky who groans.

"As much fun as this is," Tony muses. "I think it's time for Brucey to come back, Big Guy."

"Uh, about that?" Darcy sheepishly smiles, and the Hulk huffs behind Darcy's back before ducking his head. Tony, Clint, and Bucky tense, but Darcy holds her ground. "When the Hulk got angry at the sight of Wanda, he got _really angry._ So angry, in fact, that Bruce.. may have.. blacked out?"

"I'm sorry," Clint scoffs. "-but did you just say that Bruce blacked out? That Banner actually _lost consciousness_ when the Hulk emerged?!"

"Don't blame him," Darcy bristles, her hands immediately finding purchase on her hips as she defends the Big Guy. "If you guys had tried explaining the new roster to Hulk before instead of keeping Wanda's involvement a secret, he wouldn't have been so angry and shocked. For Christ's sake, guys, there's only so much that Bruce can block from the Hulk and up until today, Hulk had no idea Wanda was an Avenger!" Now it's Clint and Tony's turn to look sheepish while Bucky's eye actually twitches. He really wants to get his girl to safety.

 **"Hulk sorry,"** he grumbles. **"Red Witch friendly."**

"That's right, Big Guy," Darcy coos as she whirls around and glances up. "Wanda's a friendly and your friend. Well, eventually," she shrugs. "You kind of scared her today." The Hulk gives a saddened sigh, and Darcy can't help but smile up at him even as the others behind her back incredulously snort and wonder what the hell it is about Darcy that makes others practically bend to her will. "Tell you what," she says and steps forward while cautiously reaching for one of Hulk's fingers to grip in hand. "-come back to the Tower us in the quinjet and I'll bake you whatever your giant heart desires."

There's a moment of silence as the Hulk shifts from foot to foot, his gaze darting from Darcy to the three assembled Avengers behind Darcy's back, and then back to Darcy with a small smile. **"Banner like blueberries so Hulk want blueberries."**

"I can work with that," Darcy chuckles. "Bruce is very fond of this blueberry dump cake that I usually make for Tony. If you come back with us peacefully, I'll make three or four cakes. Deal?"

Then glancing up towards the quinjet with it's lowered ramp, the Hulk nods. **"Okay."**

And as Darcy walks finger-in-hand with the Hulk, she flashes her flabbergasted boyfriend, Uncle, and Tony a brilliant smile. "You guys are going to have to start calling me the Hulk Whisperer. This is amazing."

 **xXx**

After getting over her own initial shock of the Hulk actually talking to her and refusing to sit anywhere other than beside her, Darcy has all the ingredients for a blueberry dump cake delivered to the Tower in bulk. And luckily, when Tony had the Tower rebuilt after the alien invasion that Loki led, all doors were built into an even larger door so in case the Hulk ever needed to pass through, he'd be able to fit.

Steve and Natasha had ended up staying at the Avengers Facility with Pietro while the Doctor Cho helped Wanda as much as she could, and the others had gathered around the Communal Kitchen to keep on eye on the Hulk as he watched Darcy take charge in the kitchen. But nothing happened other than the Hulk laughing as Darcy danced along to one of her many playlists that FRIDAY queued up for her baking extravaganza.

Clint had sat perched on top of the refrigerator like the lunatic he was, Tony sat as close to the Hulk as was allowed, and Bucky sat the furthest from the Hulk though the closest to Darcy. And surprisingly, Bruce finally made his reappearance after the Hulk downed his first steaming blueberry dump cake. As Bruce groaned and leaned against the piece of bar counter in front of him to hide his nude form, Darcy made sure that they all knew to not touch the remaining blueberry dump cakes unless they wanted to face her wrath. The cakes were for Hulk, not Bruce, and she would have no problem ratting them out to Hulk at his next appearance.

Bruce had thanked her for being kind to his alter ego, and Darcy merely ruffled his hair before grabbing for Bucky's hand and dragging him towards the elevator. "Today has been one hell of a doozy and Mama needs her cuddles."

So that's how Bucky finds himself cuddled up with Darcy, she having dragged him back to his place that he shared with Steve since Steve wouldn't be home any time soon, and because Clint would no doubt be heading back to his own place that he shared with Darcy.

The room is dark and the only light source is coming from the tv right in front of them. Bucky's sitting in the corner of the couch, his metal arm resting atop the arm rest and his flesh arm wrapped around Darcy's curled figure against his side as they mindlessly watch _Ghost Adventures_ (because really, ghost stories like this are best for cuddling and after the day everyone's had, Darcy and Bucky really just wanna bask in each other's presence).

Well, at least Bucky wants to bask. Darcy, on the other hand, is quite content with how the day panned out. While she had a bit of a break down behind closed doors ( _Oh my God! I met the Hulk. Hulk was going to pulverize Wanda and I talked him down. What the hell is wrong with me?! He could have easily swatted me, but he chose to talk to me. How cool is that?!_ ), Bucky had his own breakdown, but his was internal.

While his girlfriend easily came to terms that she went toe-to-toe with the Hulk, Bucky couldn't wrap his mind around how close he actually came to losing one of the best things he has going on in his life right now. Darcy isn't super, she isn't alien, she isn't immortal. She's human- _oh so very human_ \- and the Hulk could have easily killed her if he wanted to. And that's just- no. Bucky, no matter if Bruce was in his right mind or not, wouldn't have been able to forgive the humble Doctor should something have happened to his Darcy.

 _His Darcy..?_ And yeah, that thought is just as terrifying as if something had happened to her. Bucky actually can't quite believe how far he's come in such a short period of time and that's mostly due to his friendship with Steve and Sam, and his relationship with Darcy. He can't remember ever feeling this strongly about a dame before and _it's terrifying._

Glancing down, he watches as Darcy's nose scrunches and she sinks further into him as the ghost hunters on tv start using their devices to communicate with the dead. The one worded replies always seem to scare and excite her, and Bucky just loves that about her.

Wait, _what?_ Darcy curls tighter into Bucky's side as the show goes on and he quietly exhales while embracing the intimacy of their position. Rubbing his cheek atop her head, he grins and squeezes her around the shoulders. He loves her.. and he'd be damned if he let anything happen to her.

"You know, we taught you self defense to protect yourself; not so you'll run head first into danger."

Darcy hums as she keeps her gaze on the tv, and Bucky can practically hear the amusement in her tone. "And what a great teacher you are. You honestly can't blame me for being distracted half the time what with your sweaty and muscle-y torso, and forgetting myself."

Bucky snorts, his chest rumbling with suppressed laughter. "But it is, doll. It was part of our deal that I go shirtless so you wouldn't complain as much."

Darcy goes quiet and still, and then erupts in a fit of giggles. "Oh, yeah."

Show now forgotten, Darcy tilts her head up and smiles brilliantly. His metal arm whirs as Bucky moves it, his metal hand then cupping Darcy's cheek so his thumb brushes along her cheekbone. The intensity of his stare makes her smile falter, and Bucky places a lingering kiss to her forehead. "You can't do that again, sweetheart," he mumbles against her skin. "What you did was stupid and reckless. However, I am proud of you. Your loyalty to your friends is astounding, but if anything ever happens to you- if-"

His voice cracks and Darcy jerks back, sitting up just enough to free her arm and cradle Bucky's face in both her hands. "Hey, shh," she coos at him. She quickly brushes back his hair behind his ears, and presses quick chaste kisses to his lips until he sighs and relaxes once more. "I know- I know you're scared for me, but you can't keep me locked away in a tower, Buck. With the life I lead- with the friends I surround myself with- something will eventually happen." Bucky frowns and she quickly kisses his lips once more, the resounding _smack!_ of her puckering lips making Bucky's lips tilt back upward. "No matter what, though, I will fight tooth and nail to always come back to you. In case you haven't noticed yet, you're stuck with me, Buck-a-roo."

"Ditto, doll."

Darcy's smiling once more, her nails lightly scratching against Bucky's beard. Their attention is then diverted back to the tv and Darcy is quick to snuggle back into her boyfriend's side.

They get through a half an episode when the show cuts to commercial, the red and green animated bells jingling a familiar tune on screen and making Darcy happily sigh. "I love Christmas."

 _Christmas? Was it that time of year already?_

Bucky does a metal check of the date and sure enough, they are in the month of December. "I honestly didn't know it was that time of year already," he mumbles. "What are we doing?" Because yeah, they were a _we_ now.

Darcy shrugs, her attention still on the tv. "I was going to invite you to meet my parents, but they called a couple days ago and said they were going to Cabo for the holiday."

"Sorry, doll."

"It's fine," she assures him. "I have Uncle Clint now to think about, too, so it worked out. Clint and I were going to invite you for a quiet Christmas at the farm, but then I didn't want Clint to feel like he was third wheeling so I was going to ask Nat along, too. And then the list of people just kept growing and growing what with the twins, Steve, and Jane, so we decided to just stay here at the Tower since the farmhouse isn't that big. Pepper's promised an intimate Christmas so that's that."

"Sounds good. What are-"

A resounding ping echoes around the room, both Darcy and Bucky jerking to attention at FRIDAY's way of alerting one before speaking. Only when the voice comes out over the speaker, it isn't FRIDAY. " _CODE GREEN. WE'VE GOT A CODE GREEN. Hulk's agitated and wants his bro. Lewis, you're up,_ " Tony chuckles.

Bucky tenses and Darcy sighs though a smile is tugging at the corner of her lips. "Looks like I'm up, Lover O'Mine." As Darcy climbs to her feet, she pecks Bucky's pouting lips. "I promise to be careful and will be back soon. Do stay up, though. We have a Christmas gathering to plan."

* * *

 **Can anyone guess where I'm going with this next- and last!- installment? :D**


End file.
